News Release

Law enforcement-short cities may be envious of tiny Pitcairn Island.

ANGWIN (Napa County) Calif., May 15, 2003—Hundreds of law enforcement-short cities throughout the world will probably be envious of tiny Pitcairn Island in the South Pacific Ocean when they learn that there is now one police officer for every nine persons on the island. And soon there will be a police officer for every 6.5 inhabitants.

All in the interest of making sure "the wonderfully corrupt and terrible people" of the island made famous by the mutiny on H.M.S. Bounty don't escape on the ever fewer passing ships. Pitcairn has a population of 45.

Seven men on Pitcairn have been charged with sexual criminality and it appears to many that their British overlords are practicing overkill akin to the worst of 19th century colonalism to make sure they stay put on the island to await trial.

Currently there are four Ministry of Defense police officers on Pitcairn, along with the island's own Pitcairner police officer. At the end of May, according to information from the island, two additional Ministry of Defense police officers will join the force.

Meanwhile, the off-island police are having a problem of their own. Three of the four smoke cigarettes, and with almost no ships now calling at the island they are having withdrawal symptoms. "We have some mighty grumpy cops on the island," says a Pitcairner. Evidently going cold turkey is tough anywhere in the world.

Pitcairn Islands Study Center, 1 Angwin Ave., Angwin, CA, USA. Herbert Ford, 707-965-6625, 707-965-2047, Fax: 707-965-6504, Email: hford@puc.edu, Website: http://library.puc.edu/pitcairn